Someone get this guy a talk show.
I've gotten too old to stay up and watch Ebert & Roeper (only somewhat true) but thankfully they have a free podcast. As you may have heard, with Roger recovering from surgery, they're doing guest fill-ins, including Jay Leno (oy) and the aforementioned Kevin Smith.
Now, I don't want anyone to permanently replace Ebert (Roeper's another story), but I would listen to Smith talk about movies every single week without a doubt. Not only do I love his stories and his passion (listen to him talk about Half Nelson), but he slams Roeper to the ground unmercifully.
When Roeper disagrees with him, giving thumbs down to (wait for it) Step Up, Kevin Smith lets him have it:
"What happened to you as a child?"
"You're a hate tank, and a very small man with a black heart."
During their video/DVD picks of the week, they get to the Wild Things threesome scene (Denise Richards, Neve Campbell, Matt Dillon), and Smith lashes out with:
"I see you as the Matt Dillon type in that type of thing. You're watching the movie, and you're just like 'I am Matt Dillon.'"
Finally, he closes the show with:
"I'd like to take this moment to wish Roger a quick recovery. He is missed. And, um, hopefully the next time you get sick, I can take over your spot."
Well, we all can dream, can't we?
UPDATE: Some of this was captured (of course) on You Tube. Enjoy.
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