David Pogue and Online Etiquette

Yesterday, I whined about the lack of civility these days, especially online.  Then, completely coincidentally, two things happened: 

First, something that I had worked on (no I'm not going to tell you what it is) got linked on Digg.com, so I decided to read the comments.  Wow - if it wasn't the awful grammar and spelling, it was the... immaturity of it all... the name calling, the hostility.  It's just insane, almost toxic feeling. 

Have you seen that video of "what if a chat room was real?"  Someone needs to make a video of what the world would be like if we all acted like the comments on a blog.  To be clear: everyone sounds like an idiot, no matter which side of the argument you're on.  Go to slashdot, go to digg... anywhere that depends on the "creativity" of society for its content.

Then, David Pogue of the New York Times wrote an amazing piece echoing exactly what I've been feeling.  I am posting all of it here, because I can't just pick one thing to highlight.  It's that perfect.

Enjoy, and be good to each other.

Whatever Happened to Online Etiquette?

“Dear David, first off i would like to tell you that you are full of **** and did not research the zune enough to know your facts.

“The following are incorrect, and not limited to: podcasts, giftcards, looks(which is an oppinion), controls, and content. Also i would like to inform you that on the day of the launch(nov 14) there is a sceduled firmware upgrade which will most likely disband the 3 by 3 rule [which limits songs beamed between Zunes to three playbacks within three days], and the zune marketplace is also to offer video content about one month after launch. In my oppinion you should be fired for wrighting such a biast article in a (somewhat)professional newspaper. Oh and in case you think i work for microsoft or have bad grammar, or something, you should know that im 15!”

The deeper we sail into the new online world of communications, the sadder I get about its future.

I’m OK with criticism, I’m fine with disagreement, I’m perfectly capable of handling angry mail. That’s not the issue here (although my teenage correspondent above was, in fact, wrong about every single one of his points).

I’ve even accepted personal attacks as part of the job. I’m a columnist; the heat comes with the kitchen.

But what’s really stunning is how hostile *ordinary* people are to each other online these days.

Slashdot and Digg.com are extremely popular sites for tech fans. Each discussion begins with the presentation of an article or Web page–and then opens up the floor for discussion.

Lately, an increasing number of the discussions devolve into name-calling and bickering. Someone might submit, say, this item to Digg:

685 diggs. “AWESOME astronomy poem.” (posted by MetsFan 3 days ago)

Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky,
Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are.

Before long, the people’s feedback begins, like this:

by baddude on 12/11/06

What’s yr problem, moron. You already said it’s a star, why would you then wonder what it is. Get a clue, or a life.

by neverland2 on 12/11/06

Dugg down as inaccurate. Stars do not twinkle. It’s the shifting atmosphere that causes an apparent twinkle. Or were you stoned all through science class?

by mrobe on 12/11/06

yo neverland2–It’s a poem, idiot. Nobody’s claiming that stars twinkle. Ever heard of poetic license?

Honestly, the intellectual level of you people is right up there with a gnat’s.

…and so on.

What’s worse is that the concentration of the nasty people increases as the civil ones get fed up and leave.

What’s going on here?

My current theories:

* On the Internet, you’re anonymous. Since you don’t have to face the person you’re dumping on, you don’t see any reason to display courtesy.

* On the Internet, you’re anonymous. You worry that your comments might get lost in the shuffle, so you lay it on thick to enhance your noticeability.

* The open toxicity is all part of the political climate. We’ve learned from the Red state-Blue state talking heads that open hostility can pass for meaningful conversation.

* Young people who spend lots of time online are, in essence, replacing in-person social interactions with these online exchanges. With so much less experience conversing in the real world, they haven’t picked up on the value of treating people civilly. That is, they haven’t yet hit the stage of life when getting things like friends, a spouse and a job depend on what kind of person you are.

* Many parents haven’t been teaching social skills (or haven’t been around to teach them) for years, but Web 2.0 is suddenly making it apparent for the first time. (”Web 2.0″ describes sites like Digg and Slashdot, where the audience itself provides material for the Web site.)

I’d give just about anything to hear what 15-year-old Josh’s parents would say if they knew how little respect he holds for adults (let alone the English language). Then again, maybe they wouldn’t be surprised a bit.

The real shame, though, is that the kneejerk “everyone else is an idiot” tenor is poisoning the potential the Internet once had. People used to dream of a global village, where maybe we can work out our differences, where direct communication might make us realize that we have a lot in common after all, no matter where we live or what our beliefs.

But instead of finding common ground, we’re finding new ways to spit on the other guy, to push them away. The Internet is making it easier to attack, not to embrace.

Maybe as the Internet becomes as predominant as air, somebody will realize that online behavior isn’t just an afterthought. Maybe, along with HTML and how to gauge a Web site’s credibility, schools and colleges will one day realize that there’s something else to teach about the Internet: Civility 101.

Comments

[Frank Carey]

Craig,

Great post and I agree, the Poque piece is a great one too. The problem, though, is not a new one. I remember flame posts back in the mid-90's while I was using compuserve. In fact I remember getting a threatening e-mail in response to a post I made on a newsgroup back in 1998.

Twenty years ago I would have expected this type of behavior from children interacting in school as they learn how to behave in a civilized society. Today, I see it from professionals in fields that range from computers to screenwriting.

The sad thing is that the one of the promises of Web 2.0 is (or was) the free exchange of ideas and opinions with others from around the world. This exchange is made difficult (or impossible) by the ones who flame indiscriminately.