Craig's MovieBlog

Looking Good, Feeling Good

I can't really say it better than Portfolio or Variety did, so I'll just reprint the good news from the studios.  I hope you like what's in theaters, because based on these numbers, we're about to get lots more of the same:

"Paramount recently became the fifth studio to make more than a billion dollars this year in foreign box office, joining Sony, Warner Bros., Disney and Fox in crossing that bench mark. It's the first time that five studios have hit that mark within a calendar year, Variety reports.

Warner Bros. leads the pack with about $1.2 billion as Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is due to reach the $500 million milestone this weekend. Fox follows at $1.1 billion, with The Simpsons Movie now at $109 million; Disney is at $1.02 billion, led by Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End at $644.6 million; Sony's at $1.01 billion with over half that from Spider-Man 3.

Universal is bringing up the rear with $404 million, a tally that should increase with the release of Bourne Ultimatum, and the expansion of I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, Knocked Up, and Evan Almighty."

So That Happened...

This weekend, as Shrek 3 became the 3rd biggest opening ever, and according to Dreamworks/Paramount, the biggest animated film of all time (I'm not so sure about that - did they see the acting in Spider-Man 3?), it also became the 8th film to make over $100 million in its opening weekend.  For what it's worth, I'm sure this list will have 10 films by the end of the summer after Pirates 3 and Harry Potter 5.

Here are the current top box office openings of all time, according to Box Office Mojo:

Spider-Man 3	$151,116,516
Pirates of the Caribbean 2	$135,634,554
Shrek the Third	$122,000,000
Spider-Man	$114,844,116
Star Wars - Episode III	$108,435,841
Shrek 2	$108,037,878
X-Men: The Last Stand	$102,750,665
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire	$102,685,961

Looking at these films in a vacuum makes it hard to comprehend how huge they are.  Try and remember that most films don't make this much money if you add up their entire domestic, international, DVD/Video/Cable runs.  Try to remember that Batman changed the world when it had the first ever opening of $40 million way back in 1989.  Spidey 3 made almost 4 times that amount.  Inflation and rising ticket prices do NOT make up the difference.

I can't help but feel as is this is the Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Mark McGuire era of blockbuster movie openings, and I'm already numb to their impact.  I would love for someone with more time and smarter than I am to try and figure out who are the dealers, what is the steroid, who are the owners, and who are the players (all metaphorically, of course).  I'm ready for a Brady Anderson or Luis Gonzales to hit 50 home runs, but in the cinematic world.  Basically, when will a Rob Schneider/Andy Dick film open to $100 million?  Because at that point, I will be done at this restaurant, and I'm asking for my check.

I just have a few rhetorical questions:

• How has it become "boring" for a film to break $100 million on its opening weekend? 
• How in the world has it become commonplace for a film to open on over 4,000 screens? 
• And really, how in the world did X-Men 3 only make $234 million in its entire theatrical run after making $102 million in its first 3 days?!?!?  Fox should be embarrassed.

My one real question is: how did this all come to pass?  Who did the math to figure out the secret formula that would stack the deck completely in the favor of the tentpole films?  How did the stars align so that audiences, filmmakers, theater owners, and studios all arrived on the same page?  I can't even get my kids to follow me in the mall, much less even begin to understand how to align millions of people and organizations so that those gigantic numbers end up on the chart above.

Where You'll Be Spending Your Cinematic Dollars This Summer

I thought a little calendar might come in handy as you do your weekend summer movie planning.  This is not every film being released this summer - just the big tentpoles (and a few others), because as much as you say you hate them, you know you're going to see them anyway:

May 4 - You already spent your money on Spider-Man 3.  Nice work.

May 11 - 28 Weeks Later made about $10 million last weekend and will need help if there's going to be a 28 Months Later.

May 18 - Shrek the Third.  Buzz is non-existent... even though the sequel was humongous.

May 25 - Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End.  It's the longest one yet, and even the writers don't understand what it's about.

June 1 - Knocked Up.  Can't Wait.

June 8 - Huge counter-programming weekend.  Surf's Up for the kids, Ocean's 13 for me, and Hostel II for um... them.

June 15 - Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.  It can't be worse than the last one, can it?

June 22 - Evan Almighty: The World's Most Expensive Comedy.  I would laugh heartily if Knocked Up made more money than this, but they're aiming it at the kiddies, not rated R like the Judd Apatow film, so I'm not getting my hopes up.  Also 1408 (John Cusack in a Stephen King thriller) and Captivity (the billboards the government doesn't want you to see!)

June 27 - Live Free or Die Hard (aka Die Hard 4.0) with a non-R rating.  Can John McClane say "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker" in a PG-13 film?  I guess we'll find out. 

June 29 - Ratatouille from Pixar will show pundits why you don't need to pump out a sequel to make a successful film.  On another note, Michael Moore takes on the healthcare industry with Sicko.

July 4 - Transformers.  This might be where Michael Bay trounces Bruce at the box office to get his revenge for their recent spat.  License to Wed will probably only be watchable since "Jim" from The Office is starring.

July 13 - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.  Why is no one talking about this film?  Are they too distracted by the final book coming out the week after?

July 20 - I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and Hairspray.  I just know there's a homophobia joke in here somewhere...

July 27 - The Simpsons Movie.  What are the weekly ratings on this show these days?  Who is still watching?  Wouldn't this have made sense about 8 years ago?  Also, Lindsay Lohan's newest box office disappointment, I Know Who Killed Me.

August 3 - The Bourne Ultimatum.  Yessss....

August 10 - Rush Hour 3 - The movie that society practically demanded to see.  Stardust also appears here.

August 17 - The Invasion is the film the Wachowskis had to take over, and Superbad has Michael Cera from Arrested Development, so I'm there.

Catching Up

Just a few links I wanted to pass along, as they're piling up in my queue...

• The latest Harry Potter trailer is here.  I can't tell if I'm more excited for this movie or the final book this summer.
• The latest Bourne Ultimatum trailer is here.  I am digging their dialog so far, "Trying to kill him and failing, just pisses him off."
• The Big Lebowski action figures.  No commentary necessary.
• As I've said about a million times, "The long-term success of films isn't always determined by how they did at the box office." [via kottke.org]
• David Poland tears apart the upcoming summer bonanza from a box office perspective.  With all the huge tentpoles and franchises, he's not alone in predicting "the first $4 billion summer in history, beating the 2004 best ever."  You can dig into his Summer Box Office Prediction Chart.

I Watch Stuff - Great Blog

This blog's writing is just getting funnier and funnier (and snarkier) every day.  Today they take on:

• James Bond, Daniel Craig and the new Casino Royale
• Gary Oldman and Harry Potter
• Mission: Impossible III and intense profiles of Tom Cruise
• Snakes on a Plane and its logo