Craig's MovieBlog

The End of the World As We Know It

So there’s this movie you’ve never heard of… it’s called One Week and it stars Joshua Jackson.  Fine.  I’m not here to rip (or praise) the movie.  However, in their marketing of the film, they took out a print ad and filled with quotes about how great the movie is.  Great – marketing departments do this all the time, filling out posters and ads with quotes from critics.

Oh, wait.  What?  Did I say critics?  Sorry.  What I meant to say was, “random anonymous people who comment on YouTube and haven’t seen the film.”

Let’s take a quick zoom in on the bottom left, shall we?

Saturday Morning Watchmen

This is brilliant (if you’ve read the graphic novel).  Thanks to The House Next Door.

Getting Old

There are times when I think about films that shaped my cinematic perspective, and then I realize when they were released, and it makes me feel freaking old.  For example:

• The Untouchables was released in 1987 – 21 freaking years ago.
• Reservoir Dogs, a film that changed movies forever, was released in 1992 – 16 years ago.
• The Usual Suspects came out in 1995, 13 years ago.  Someone who was born when this movie was released just had their Bar Mitzvah.
• Ghostbusters - 1984 – 24 years ago… way over half my life.  Don’t even ask about Caddyshack.

But my slow feeble mind always stopped there.  Jason Kottke, however, made the brilliant move of comparing these past films to what would have been similar comparisons back when we watched the film originally.  I know… hard to explain, but here’s an example:

Watching Star Wars today is like watching It's a Wonderful Life (1946) in 1977.

Watching Back to the Future today is like watching To Kill a Mockingbird (1962) in 1985.

My favorite one, however, is when he brings music into the equation:

Radiohead, OK Computer (1997) --> Bon Jovi, Slippery When Wet (1986)

And slightly related:

The Parents Television Council Makes a Funny

“The number of fleeting penises we expect to see on broadcast television is zero.”

Separated at Birth: The Sarah Palin Edition

And no.  I’m not talking about Tina Fey.

First watch this:

Then watch this:

These kids are giving beauty queens a bad name.

The Dark Knight: The Abridged Script

I don’t know how he does it.  He’s consistently funny.  Enjoy The Dark Knight in a whole new way:

===========

CHRISTIAN BALE IN A RUBBER SUIT flips HEATH’S TRUCK using his BAT-PHYSICS-VIOLATOR, then rides up a wall in order to turn around like a BADASS. FANBOYS in the AUDIENCE cheer wildly for this, even though it looks RETARDED.

HEATH LEDGER

So it’s finally here. Me at one end of a Chicago street, you at the other. The epic battle between good and evil, teased in every advertisement for the movie! This is going to be awesome.

CHRISTIAN BALE crashes his bike like a PUTZ. HEATH laughs, then gets arrested by GARY OLDMAN, who is alive after all. Then the scene ends.

More Evidence That We Don’t Even Need a W. Movie

This Ad Kills Me

I hate everything about this commercial.  It stomps all over my youth like George Lucas on a bender.  [via]

Where’s My Kaboom?

Warner Bros. is making a Marvin the Martian movie.

If this doesn't outgross Alvin and the Chipmunks, something will have gone horribly, horribly wrong.

And In The Least Surprising News of the Day

Megan Fox has broken up with Brian Austin Green.

Seriously… how did it take this long?

Wordle of the Week & Post #1000

I know this is an easy one, but this movie has been on cable multiple times every night this month, and I just wanted to see what this monologue would look like in Wordle.

This also happens to be my 1000th post on Craig’s MovieBlog.  It seems like that should symbolize something other than a lot of wasted time and a public outlet for the ramblings of my brain, so I want to show my appreciation to anyone reading, sending email, linking to this site from their blogs, and so on.  I’ve been lucky enough to banter back and forth with a few of the folks that I read regularly (The Jay, Burbanked, Movie Marketing Madness, etc.), and I’ve enjoyed all of it.

Happy 4th of July to those of you in the States, and see you all at post 2000.

Craig

More Wordle Fun: Guess the Movie!

I’ve already posted once about Wordle, but The Jay inspired me today, so I took three of my favorite monologues and Wordled them.  Care to guess what movies they’re from?  No fair Googling the words… that’s too easy.  Besides, these aren’t very hard.

Note: language is a bit R-rated.  Click on each Wordle picture for the answer.

Here’s #1:

And #2:

And #3:

Craigslist

• David Poland says Hancock “is easily the most ambitious action script of the summer to date.”
• It’s Brad Pitt’s world.  We’re all just living in it.  Check out the trailers for Burn After Reading and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, directed by The Coen Brothers and David Fincher, respectively.
• So best.  Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: The Abridged Script.  Go read it and remind yourself how truly disappointing that film was.  I wonder if George Lucas is gonna just go and destroy all my childhood dreams.  Maybe he can remake Fletch, Ghostbusters, and Ferris Bueller next.
• This is old, but I still don’t get it.  Blockbuster is “testing in-store kiosks allowing consumers to download movies onto their portable devices.”  Wow.  Too bad I actually have to go to Blockbuster to do this… you know, the place where all the DVDs are anyway?  Gosh, if there was only a device in the home that was connected to the Internet, could download a movie the same way, and could sync content to my portable devices. Schmucks…
• If Film Studios Developed Videogames.  John August is brilliant.

Now That’s What I’m Talking About!

         

Wordle is very, very cool.

 

Latest Sign of the Apocalypse

How is this not a headline from The Onion?  How soon can I move to Canada?